Last night, my chick and I dined with friends at a famous eatery in Newark's Ironbound district. Now, I dig the Ironbound, but only so much. Truth be told, I've never really eaten a good meal there.
But I digress...
If there's one aspect that typifies traditional Portuguese food, it's fish. Mind you, I have a nose like a frikkin' bloodhound and the smell of anything that comes from water makes me gag. So, here I am, surrounded by the whiffs of fish, clams and mussels. I felt like I was on the docks.
As I dug into my hearty filet mignon, I could only ask myself: Doesn't anyone eat meat anymore?
So, as a service to my peeps, I figured I'd go into the vault and dig up a piece I did for a defunct rag called Bikini (btw, they never paid me. Still waiting for that check)
In any case, it's an ode to bloody red meat and all of its glorious health benefits - or lack thereof.
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CARNIVORES: READ THIS BEFORE DIGGING IN
On a carcass weight basis, American beef production averages 25 billion pounds per year and is an $18 billion dollar industry. Even with such staggering numbers, meat lovers can't dodge the bullets from health gurus who mandate that red meat causes cancer and is a major contributor to heart disease and high blood pressure.
Whoa? When did devouring a thick juicy steak -- the quarterback of American foods -- become the equivalent of downing a test tube of plutonium? It depends on who you ask.
It's also been said that a savory sirloin oozing with flavor may actually lower cholesterol and play a major role in a heart disease risk-reduction diet. What gives?
Allocate enough time and funds and the medical establishment will tell you anything you want to hear. I'm still waiting for the publication of the "Hearty microbrew with pretzels at least four-times-a-week will lengthen your life" study to be published sometime soon in the Annals of Internal Medicine.
So do I have a
beef with beef? -- Hey, I love a Big Mac just like the next guy. But by the same token I sorta feel compelled to explain what various sects of modern medicine has to say. You be the judge because this one's a tougher call than De La Hoya versus Trinidad.
Credit where it's due
A healthful diet is measured by its overall quality and not by the presence or absence of any single food. Nutrition authorities say that as long as you're following a very nutritious food plan and consume plenty of vegetables and whole grains,
red meat will not kill you. The
American Dietetic Association, the
American Heart Association and the
National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute recommend 5-7 ounces of lean, trimmed meat daily. Such trimmed beef provides iron, zinc, Vitamin B-12 and balanced protein.
Red meat may lower cholesterolA recent study led by Dr. Michael H. Davidson, of the Chicago Center for Clinical Research, has determined that in moderation, red meat may actually lower cholesterol levels and reduce the risks of coronary heart disease. "The case against red meat has been misrepresented," he said in a release. "A heart-healthy diet containing up to 6 ounces of lean red meat lowered the risk of heart disease by positively impacting blood cholesterol levels."
For the study, 191 people with mild to moderate high blood cholesterol were randomly assigned to receive 80 percent of their meat from lean red meats (beef, veal or pork) or lean white meats (poultry or fish). Both diets called for 6 ounces of lean meat per day, 5-7 days a week.
Davidson's team found that both types of lean meat lowered total and low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol -- the bad cholesterol -- and increased high-density lipoprotein (HDL) -- the good cholesterol -- for the duration of the nine month study. For what it's worth, the study was funded by the
National Cattlemen's Beef Association.
Ditch the tofu. Grab a Slim Jim.The Vegetarian Times says there are 12.4 million vegetarians in America who abstain from the hot beef injection. To this, doctors shake their heads. Just because a diet is lower in meat doesn't mean it's higher in health. A strict vegetarian diet may lack essential nutrients a body needs from beef.
Scientists at
Canada's National Institute of Nutrition compared vegetarian diets to diets that included meats and concluded that "insufficient data exist from well-controlled studies to support claims of unique health benefits of vegetarian diets." The analysis also showed that veg head diets place adults at a higher risk for anemia and stress that animal products has been vital elements in diets for thousands of years.
We assume Nicole Kidman ate her meat.The
Commonwealth Department of Health in Australia as well as their Division of Meat and Livestock says that red meat is wholly nutritious and is a contributor to the intake of protein, zinc, iron and niacin. They say it also provides riboflavin, retinol, potassium, calcium, magnesium and a range of other vitamins.
On the flipside...Red meat, even when lean, can be high in saturated fat says the
American Heart Association. Meat products from animals that have high amounts of saturated fatty acids include beef, beef fat, veal, lamb and pork.
But what's considered lean?
According to the 1990 Nutrition Labeling Act (NLEA), claims about fat, saturated fat and cholesterol can be made for foods only if they meet strict requirements as defined by the government. A "lean" product is less than 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat and less than 95 milligrams of cholesterol per serving.
Not even if it's leanThe
American Cancer Society expects cancer to be the leading cause of death and a couple of years ago released tough new warnings regarding meat consumption. Whereas the USDA guidelines and American Heart Association would allow red meat as long as it's lean, the American Cancer Society would restrict it altogether. They further advise that any animal food be relegated to a side dish rather than as the focus of a meal. Bummer.
Guess you guys are in troubleAlarmed? You should be. According to a recent report in the International Journal of Cancer, individuals who smoke tobacco, drink beer, eat red meat and lead a sedentary lifestyle are at great risk of developing colon cancer.
The report presents 20-year follow-up data of 17,633 males who completed a questionnaire in 1966. Dr Ann W. Hsing of the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, Maryland, investigated statistical associations between tobacco, alcohol use and diet. She found 120 deaths due to colon cancer and 25 deaths due to rectal cancer. Those who ate red meat had a relative risk for developing cancer.
What exactly causes the cancer?In the film "
Beverly Hills Cop," rookie detective Judge Reinhold informs veteran partner John Astin that by the time the typical American man is 50, he has six pounds of undigested red meat in his bowels (I know... It's gross.)
Given the scenario, audiences laughed at the joke since the two were on a stakeout, eating grubby stakeout food. But it's really not funny considering the statement. Ever wonder why your grandfather has so much gas? It's because the meat in his bowels is fermenting. Loaded with gas-producing bacteria, it forms a thick black tarry substance that many experts believe is a major factor in bowel and prostate cancers. Don't go crazy. Eating meat does not make for tarry bowels -- eating TOO MUCH of it with not enough fiber will do it.
Kinda makes sense now why your dad keeps winning all the farting contests, huh?
Next time, make the prize a granola bar.
Until next time,
-- Hamburgler
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FAST FACTS ABOUT BIG 'OL BEEF
Most Americans consume only 2.3 ounces of meat per day.
Short story master O. Henry first coined the term "filet mignon" in his book, "The Four Million."
91 percent of Americans support raising cattle for food in the animals are raised humanely.
Tony Ganioas played a lovable lug named "Meat" in the 1981 sex romp "Porky's."
Sirloin steak is the most popular steak purchased at the retail level.
Sioux City, Iowa will always be known as one of the great meat-packing cities in the country.
Americans grill 2.3 times a week during the summer. The average United Kingdom family grills only three times a year.
In the Oscar-winning film "Rocky," Sly Stallone introduced an unorthodox training technique as boxer Rocky Balboa relentlessly slugged dangling cattle in a South Philly slaughterhouse.
Marvin Lee Aday -- otherwise known to millions as Meat Loaf -- was born on Jan. 22, 1946.
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