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Showing posts with label honeymoon at the atomic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honeymoon at the atomic. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

VEGAS WEDDINGS - TONIGHT ON 'NIGHTLINE'

The Marriage Pit: In Las Vegas — the wedding capitol of the world — the business of "I do" is quite the moneymaker. Second only to gambling, tying the knot rakes in an estimated $900 million per year for Sin City. With so much at stake, and so many competing chapels, the business of luring in love birds can be cutthroat. Outside the county courthouse, handbillers representing different chapels, wait in the so called "marriage pit," bombarding newlyweds, handing out flyers, and making a pitch for couples to get married at their chapel. It can all be a lot to handle as Chris Bury reports tonight on "Nightline."

Check it out and then check out my own experience getting hitched in Sin City back on 777.

Also check out this expose the LA TIMES ran a short while back.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

THE TWO ELVISES - PART TWO


OK... As I said in yesterday's post, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here. Very few people have read any fiction I've written, much less a story which happens to not be my particular favorite. In any case, a few days ago, I posted this poem. It was an ode to a teenaged Vegas elopement and the bar they visited soon after. After thinking about it, I figured it was the perfect companion piece or sequel to a short story I wrote eons ago about the same subject. If anything, the only thing I can say is that they ultimately belong together at this point. First this story, "The Two Elvises" which I'll post in three parts, and then the poem from the other day - Honeymoon at the Atomic.

_________________________________________

"The Two Elvises" - Part Two

They met a year ago when Carol's dad met Stu's mom at The Drink Cart, a small bar inside of the main terminal in Chicago's O' Hare Airport. Stu's mom, Bette Holmes, was an over-the-hill flight attendant whose days were numbered. It's not that she was incompetent or belligerent to passengers, but simply, she wasn't the youngest flower in the bouquet anymore. Years of flying cross-country have begun to take their toll. And after training an endless number of pretty young girls to work with her on the plane, she knew, from watching them bounce up and down the aisle with their bubbly smiles, peddling earplugs and magazines, that she was through. When it got slow, she'd sneak into the bathroom and gaze in the mirror, inspecting the wrinkles that resembled the topography she often flew over.

It didn't stop there. Her golden brown hair that once flowed in wavy strands now resembled frizzled hay. The eyes, once bright and optimistic, now peered with darkened suspicion. And the hourglass figure that used to make male passengers melt behind their Newsweeks, evoked the shape of a bowling pin. It was obvious -- what little looks she did have were quickly whisking away, like the dry leaves in a late autumn breeze.

So in drowning her sorrows after a long flight from LAX, Bette met Roger Nichols, a copier salesman, just back in town from his company's annual convention.

When the subject of family came up, Bette said, "I have a son. Stuart. Just turned twenty."

"Really?" Roger said, sounding surprised. "My daughter's gonna be twenty on March 7."

Bette smiled, as if they were sharing the same secret. "They'll drain you, huh? Drive you batty. What's her name?"

Roger saw the face of his baby girl. "Carol," he answered, pulling out a small snapshot from his wallet. "Isn't she a doll?"

"Oh yes," Bette said. "Stu would love her..."

So Stu and Carol were introduced about a month and a half later at a Labor Day barbecue held on the grounds at Roger's company. At first Stu thought Carol was a little primadonna, with her shoulder shrugging and one word answers. But he soon realized, after knowing her a bit, that's how she acted when she was nervous. As for Carol? She thought Stu was a typical jock, sophomoric and stupid at the same time. But after she got to know him, she realized it was his free-spirited nature, easy-going and relaxed that made him appear so juvenile.

"You live in town?" was the first thing Stu asked her. After Carol answered yes, he was stuck and really didn't have much else to say. Neither did she. The initial small talk of young love can be excruciatingly scary and the lack of chit-chat between these two kids were perfect examples. When Roger jogged over and asked them what they wanted from the grill, a small part of Stu and Carol were relieved. They thought they were saved, but Roger, not wanting to intrude, took their food requests and went back to the barbecue. They were back at square one.

"So..." Stu said stumbling for something to say, "is that your red Miata?"

She nodded. "I got it used about a month ago. You like it?"

"Who wouldn't? Is it a stick?"

She crinkled her nose. "Yeah, but I can't really drive it that good," she said. "I stall alot. It took me a half hour to get here today because I had to find a way with no hills."

Stu knew this was his area. "Carol, you've come to the right guy. I've been driving five-speeds ever since I got my license."

"Do you have any pointers?" she asked.

A young man's cockiness overcame Stu. "The way I can teach you, you'll be driving NASCAR by Friday."

So there was the common ground. He helped her drive like Mario Andretti and she let him take her out a couple of times after the lessons. Usually it was to Friendly's for ice cream. Once they tried to buy beer, but got carded by some kid working the register that was younger than them. Stu called the kid a prick and they left the store.

They eventually became friends and it wasn't soon after, that their hormones got the best of them. It was only natural, therefore, that things became sexual.

When their folks announced wedding plans, it was Thanksgiving night and Stu and Carol didn't quite know how to deal with the fact they would soon be related. Both of them just stared into their plates filled with beets and turkey to the point where their parents wondered if they were ill.

"What should we do?" Carol asked later over the echoes of a football game.

"Stu flicked on MTV and put the volume louder so their parents wouldn't overhear and said, "Do you think we should stop seeing each other?"

"Stop seeing each other? Stu we're gonna like see each other every day. This is serious."

"Didn't you think that our parents getting married was a possibility? I say we do nothing. They fell in love. Why can't we?"

Carol thought about it. Stu was right. "Should we tell them?"

"No," he said. "They'll find out soon enough I guess."

So Bette and Roger wed about three months later in a quaint bed and breakfast ceremony and technically, you could say, Stu and Carol became step-brother and sister.

The family moved into a quaint tudor in the Chicago suburb of Englewood Heights. To the naked eye, Stu and Carol looked like any other step-brother and sister - the hogging of the bathroom, the fight for the remote control and even the quarrel as to who would take the garbage out wasn't uncommon. But behind closed doors, the two were falling deeper in love.

If Bette and Roger went upstairs to bed, then Stu and Carol would descend to the basement where a finished off den gave them all the privacy they needed. And for the evenings when Bette had overnight flights and Roger had sales meetings five states away, the kids played house, doing everything young couples do.

And it was those little things that almost got them caught -- like the time when Roger noticed the fireplace had been used when no one was supposed to be home. When he saw all the mood music scattered about, he just had to ask Stu, "Didn't you go skiing this weekend?"

Stu thought quick. "Bobby's water pump busted and my car wouldn't have made it that far, so we had to cancel."
"Did you have a date?" Roger asked examining the back of a Barry White CD.

"Not really. Some girl I knew from high school came over and she got a little cold, so I lit the fireplace."

"Was Carol here? Didn't she cramp your style."

"Luckily she went out with her friend Jackie and slept over there."

"I hope you scored at least."

Stu smiled. "I sure did Roger. I sure as hell did"

"That's what I like to hear kiddo," his stepdad said as he walked out of the den. "Do it while you're young 'cause gettin' old is a bitch."

Their luck, though, had to run out sometime. One Saturday morning -- when Bette always did housework -- she found something very odd and alarming. While emptying Carol's trash basket next to the bed an electric blue Stallion brand condom wrapper fell to the ground. It was Ribbed. She'd been home for the past three days and hadn't seen any boys come over to see her step-daughter. It didn't set right especially since her husband used the same brand. She thought about it a little more and came to the conclusion that something funny was indeed going on. She saved the wrapper and decided to show it to Roger when he came home from work.

"I found this in the trash today, Roger," Bette said throwing the condom wrapper in front of him as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"The kid works fast," Roger said to himself, but still letting Bette hear.

"What?" Bette asked, not understanding.

"Hon, don't worry. The other day Stu asked me if I had any extra rubbers. The kid's been seein' some girl lately and I've been asking him how it's been going. I guess he's starting to trust me a little."

Bette didn't know how to tell him so she just blurted it out. "I found it in Carol's bedroom."

"You found it where?"

"I was cleaning her room when I found it in the trash."

Roger's face turned beet red. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking..."

Bette sat down and fanned herself with a coupon circular. "Rog, no one has been in this house for a couple of days and unless you've been sleeping with her, I think our kids may be --"

"I'll kill him, Bette."

"Let me talk to him," she said. "Just calm down. Maybe there's a good explanation for this." She knew, however, there couldn't have been. There was a protocol, a decorum, that was broken. Nothing could fix it now.

About three hours, later Stu came home from work and Carol was up in her room on the phone. When their parents called them down to the kitchen, Stu knew they were caught. "What do we tell them?" Carol asked, petrified.

"Let me handle it. I'll do all the talking. Don't say a word."

But Carol did and Stu reacted to their parents like any twenty year-old would -- with angst and anger perpetuated by just the right amount of fear that makes people do the craziest of things.

"We love each other," he said. "You guys fell in love, why can't we?"

"Because, you little shit, it's dysfunctional," Roger snapped. "Did you ever see Marsha Brady sleep with Greg?"

Stu walked towards the door saying, "I don't have to take this."

Roger trotted after him and spun his stepson around and said, pointing into his face, "We are not done talking. Get back into that kitchen."

"No."

"Then get out!"

"Roger!" Bette screamed. "This is my child! Now, let's just all sit and talk about this."

"Daddy!" Carol piped in every couple of seconds during the confusion. She finally said when all was quiet, "If he goes, so do I."

Roger grabbed hold of his daughter's arm. "You're not going anywhere."

It was at that point where Stu drew his line in the sand, pushing Roger as hard as he could, clutched Carol's wrist and dragged her out of the house with him. "I love you, mom" was the last thing he said before slamming the door. All he heard as they ran down the walkway was his mom crying from inside.

TO BE CONTINUED ...

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

THE TWO ELVISES - PART ONE (ORIGINAL SHORT STORY)


OK... I feel like I'm going out on a limb here. Very few people have read any fiction I've written, much less a story which happens to not be my particular favorite. In any case, a few days ago, I posted this poem. It was an ode to a teenaged Vegas elopement and the bar they visited soon after. After thinking about it, I figured it was the perfect companion piece to a short story I wrote eons ago about the same subject. If anything, the only thing I can say is that they ultimately belong together at this point. First this story, "The Two Elvises" which I'll post in three parts, and then the poem from the other day - Honeymoon at the Atomic.

______________________________________________

"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."
- Albert Camus


"The Two Elvises"

"Which wedding package do you want?" the minister asked the couple.

"What do you mean?" the girl Carol answered.

As the boyfriend, Stu, caught a glimpse of the minister, he thought getting married in a gaudy Las Vegas chapel was going to be the final nail in their coffin. He didn't care. Somehow, he knew the two of them belonged there. For the past day or so, he kept thinking of their parents, who would never approve of something like this. Right now, their faces were engraved on his conscience.

The man of the cloth answered with a slight hint of Southern drawl, "Well, little lady, we here at the Twin Steeple Chapel have a variety of packages available on this most special of days."

"Like?" Stu said.

"Well, we can arrange anything from getting married at the highest or lowest point of the Grand Canyon to proclaiming your wedding vows in a hot air balloon over the Hoover Dam."

Carol's eyes lit up. "That sounds great huh, Baby?"

Stu just nodded at Carol. The boy knew, however, there was no way these would come cheap -- especially in this town. "But those are those expensive, huh?" he asked the minister.

"Well, they're far from free, son," he answered. "Tell you what, though, if you let me know how much ya'll two can spare, I'd be more than delighted to tell you what we got." Stu's attention was quickly diverted to the hundreds of Polaroids stapled to the walls of the cozy chapel. The brilliant rays of the Nevada sun were starting to turn the edges of some of the pictures a slight shade of yellow. But even with the discoloration, he could still easily see the many faces of the happy couples. He wondered how many of them were still married. How many were young like he and Carol? How many were drunk at the time? And, judging from some of the older folks tacked to the board, how many were still alive?

His concentration was broken. "I'm talking to you, Stu," Carol said, nudging him to pay attention.

"What?" he asked, not hearing her. "I'm listening... I'm listening..."

"He's waiting for us," Carol said before whispering into her boyfriend's ear. Stu waited a second and whispered back. Carol seemed disappointed and asked, "That's it? Are you sure that's all we can afford?"

"We're pushing it as it is," Stu said.

Carol turned the minister and told him, "We have about $150 to spare, father."

"I see," he said, nodding over and over.

"Not enough?" Stu asked.

"No, no, no" the minister quickly said. "It just doesn't leave us with many options, that's all. But don't worry, I'm sure we can accommodate you with something."

Stu held onto his girl's hand and said, "Well, we're all ears, father." Carol tickled his palm with her thumbnail. He loved that. It was his weakness and he gave her a sexy grin.

The minister flipped through a timeworn leather binder and said, "Now let's see, an even hundred dollars gets the two a ya'll married with a witness."

"Is that the best you could do for us?" Stu asked.

The minister apologetically shrugged his shoulders. "M'fraid so, son. I guess you could call it the 'The no-frills package.'"

Stu just wasn't sure. He had to justify the two of them spending that much cash. He wanted to get married and all, but a hundred bucks was, well, a hundred bucks.

"What do you think?" Carol asked him.

"Baby, we just got into town two days ago. We gotta watch what we spend."

Carol sighed. "Then let's just forget it."

Stu felt Carol's melodramatics beginning and turned towards the minister. "Just a witness? That's all we get for a hundred bucks?"

"Certainly not, son," he said, holding onto the lapels of his gray blazer. "We supply a beautiful wedding garter for the bride and provide authentic organ music for the ceremony."

"As opposed to 'non-authentic' organ music?" Stu asked.

"You'd be surprised at how many chapels here in our great city play tape cassettes on this most special of days," the minister said, pointing to the instrument. "The real McCoy. Ain't she just a beaut?"

Stu thought it looked like one of those hastily screwed together catalog organs from a Sears Christmas Wishbook.

"And that's not all," the minister went on, "what wedding wouldn't be complete without a genuine keepsake?"

"Which is?" Carol asked.

"We're proud to give the happy couple two memento Polaroids," the minister answered, pointing to the photos tacked to the wall.

"Just to satisfy my own curiosity, father," Stu said, "If we wanted a couple of the 'frills' tacked on, what would they be?"

The minister opened his rate book once more. "Now let's see, an upgraded package includes a bridal bouquet for the lucky lady, boutonnière for the groom and best man, corsage for the bridesmaid with lots of optional extras thrown in."

Optional extras? Somehow the two kids knew those two words just didn't belong together.

"What kind of 'optional extras' we talkin' about?" Stu asked.

"Well, just tons, son. We can videotape your wedding, hire a top-notch shutterbug, book ya'll a honeyroom --"

"Uh, what's a 'honeyroom?'" Carol asked.

"Sorry, the minister said smiling, "That's wedding chapel lingo for honeymoon suite. I like to think it sounds better my way."

Carol turned to Stu and, looking dejected, said, "I wanted this day to be really special"

Hearing her, the minister raised his forefinger. "We do have one more little package that's probably the most popular."

The kids' curiosity perked as they watched the minister fold his hands saying, "The Twin Steeple's Elvis Presley Wedding Package is unlike anything else on the grand boulevard known as the Las Vegas strip."

Stu held back a laugh and thought the minister was joking. "Elvis Presley? You gotta be kidding."

"He'll even sing 'Love Me Tender.' It's very sweet. Very sweet, indeed."

Stu looked around the chapel and the concept of marriage was just starting to sink in because he couldn't believe what he was about to do. He was in love, no doubt about it, but he was scared like all grooms-to-be and thought his fright had to be natural. He looked at Carol. Beautiful. But what the hell were they doing? And this minister. What planet did he come from with his sickening congeniality? Their impromptu act of love was supposed to be a spontaneous lark, and it was turning into sheer confusion. He couldn't even imagine what couples tying the knot with lavish receptions could go through. A part of him wanted to go back home. But he and Carol came a long way.

They had a point to prove.

TO BE CONTINUED ...