Hilarious or downright horrific?
You decide ...
You decide ...
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Thursday, August 9, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
AN EXTRA'S TAKE ON HEATH'S JOKER
NEW "DARK KNIGHT PICS" as of 8/17!! CLICK HERE
James Isreal over at his blog JUMP CUTS, has an exclusive scoop regarding Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker in the upcoming "The Dark Knight." It seems that an extra on the set studied Heath while the actor was "in the zone."
Here's what the extra/actor had to say:
James Isreal over at his blog JUMP CUTS, has an exclusive scoop regarding Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker in the upcoming "The Dark Knight." It seems that an extra on the set studied Heath while the actor was "in the zone."
Here's what the extra/actor had to say:
As regards to how Heath Ledger *seemed* as the Joker, he seemedlike he WAS the Joker, and didn't need to let anyone know it - rather contained, but ready to explode at any moment in an unexpected fashion. Menacing, but more because he seemed like he was probably crazy, and maybe violent, rather than that he was TRYING to scare you. (and by the way, all he did during the scenes I was in was sit in his holding cell, reacting and listening...so, he's a very fine actor if I imbibed all this from just watching him sit there...) He didn't talk a lot between takes, but he also wasn't "Don't approach me!" in his manner - a real pro, in other words.
In short, he seemed just like the Joker SHOULD seem.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
THE MOST BANKABLE STAR IS H'WOOD IS ...
... None other than Matt Damon.
Fresh off the heels of this weekend's record-breaking opening for "The Bourne Ultimatum," Damon is officially entertainment's best investment, reports Forbes.com.
In his past three roles, for every dollar he was paid, the actor brought in $29 of gross income. That catapults the 36-year-old thesp over 22 other film heavyweights, ranked with the same financial formula.
In Damon's spy franchise, the first two "Bourne" movies grossed an estimated $850 million at the box office and in DVD sales. The third installment released on Friday -- "The Bourne Ultimatum" -- snagged $70.2 million at the box office and is officially the biggest August film opening ever.
Brad Pitt took second place on the list, with a gross income return of $24 for each dollar of his pay and Vince Vaughn tied with Johnny Depp for third with $21.
As for the chicks, Pitt's ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston, is officially the most profitable actress with a gross income return of $17. Pitt's current squeeze Angelina Jolie, ranked sixth with $15.
Oscar-winner Russell Crowe is smack dab at the bottom of the list. His last three films _ "A Good Year," "Cinderella Man" and "Master and Commander" _ averaged just $5 in gross income for every dollar spent on his pay.
Movies starring the two Hollywood Toms - Hanks and Cruise - averaged $12 and $11 of gross income, respectively. Will Smith and Denzel Washington each brought in $10.
In terms of comedy, Adam Sandler brought in $9 per dollar earned, Will Ferrell and Jim Carrey $8 each.
Forbes.com calculated the net revenue for a film by adding the worldwide box office and revenues from U.S. DVD and video rentals and then subtracting its budget. The net revenue was divided by the actor's total compensation to derive gross income. The average gross income of an actor's last three films produced their box-office return.
Monday, August 6, 2007
THERE IS NO GOD ...
How can this be? How can China's hairiest man (if not the world's) have a receding hairline?HOW?!
In any case, it's Yu Zhenhuan, who poses on a track in Beijing. He's bidding to run in next year's Olympic torch relay.
Sheesh ...
MORE RESPONSIBLE MARKETING
About a week ago, I waxed poetic about how irresponsible I thought the teaser poster for JJ Abrams' new untitled disaster flick was.
The one sheet depicts a headless Statue of Liberty overlooking a gloom-soaked and nearly detroyed Big Apple skyline. I know it's a fun sci-fi film and all but it just seemed wrong to me.
Well since there are thousands of geeks and fanboys online devoted to everything Abrams, check out this cool faux teaser poster which I think is much more appropriate and equally as effective.
It works. Check out some more fan made posters, HERE.
The one sheet depicts a headless Statue of Liberty overlooking a gloom-soaked and nearly detroyed Big Apple skyline. I know it's a fun sci-fi film and all but it just seemed wrong to me.
Well since there are thousands of geeks and fanboys online devoted to everything Abrams, check out this cool faux teaser poster which I think is much more appropriate and equally as effective.
It works. Check out some more fan made posters, HERE.
Friday, August 3, 2007
A RETURN TO THE 3 MARTINI LUNCH & THE '77 YANKS
Two incredible new shows are making my doldroms of summer TV a bit more enjoyable. And both are pretty retro in flavor.
Maybe that's why I dig them so much.
The first, "Mad Men," is an AMC drama original drama set and produced in the Big Apple. Created by "The Sopranos" writer and executive producer Matthew Weiner, it's set in 1960 at the fictional Sterling Cooper Advertising Agency on Madison Avenue (hence the title) and centers on a high-level advertising executive and the people in his life in and out of the office.
Interestingly, it also depicts some of the social mores of late 1950s America that were soon to change. It debuted on July 19, 2007, and was given an initial production of 13 episodes. After the airing of the pilot, the series received critical praise for its historical accuracy and visual style.
Frankly, it's weird seeing a show like this on modern TV. Many of the questionable aspects of "Mad Men" were accepted facets of society in the late 1950s and early 1960s (the pilot takes place in March 1960), include smoking, drinking (alcoholic beverages), extreme sexism, and racial bias.
Smoking, which was more common circa 1960, is featured throughout the series. Everyone lights up. Even pregnant women! In the pilot, representatives of Lucky Strike cigarettes come to Sterling Cooper looking for a new advertising campaign in the wake of a Reader's Digest report that smoking will lead to various health issues including lung cancer. It was not uncommon for businessmen, like advertising executives, to have large quantities of alcohol on a daily basis; sometimes, food breaks in the office were referred to as the three martini lunch.
It's retro all the way, baby! Enjoy the trailer.
The second best show of the summer is "The Bronx Is Burning," another scripted drama which premiered on ESPN on July 9, 2007. It is an eight-episode mini-series adapted from Jonathan Mahler's best-selling book, "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx Is Burning."It centers on baseball's triumph over the turmoil and hysteria of 1977 New York City, and how the New York Yankees came to embody all of the hopes and fears of an unforgettable summer with Billy Martin and Reggie Jackson's warfare under George Steinbrenner's leadership. Throw in the mania surrounding the "Son of Sam" serial killer, infamous blackout and the mayoral race and you have one fine, fine show.
And the cast is killer... It stars John Turturro as Billy Martin, Oliver Platt and George Steinbrenner and Daniel Sunjata as theone and only reggie Jackson.
The series marks the 30th anniversary of the 1977 World Series win for the Yankees, the first under Steinbrenner.
After airing on ESPN, the episodes can be seen on ABC on Demand.
Some trivia: The title refers to an off-the-cuff comment by broadcaster Howard Cosell during the ABC telecast of Game Two of the 1977 World Series:
"As night descended, ABC, broadcasting the game, cut to a helicopter camera for an overhead view of Yankee Stadium and the surrounding neighborhood, where, bizarrely, a large fire raged out of control. Howard Cosell intoned, 'There it is, ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is burning."
Enjoy the preview...
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
DOESN'T THIS JUST SEEM WRONG?
Am I the only one thinking this, as I stare at a headless Statue of Liberty with smoke plumes rising up from the Big Apple skyline?
It wasn't that long ago after 9-11 that Hollywood studios wouldn't even think to release a film with as much of a sneeze in terms of violence.
And, if I remember correctly, film releases of the actioner "Collateral Damage" and prison drama "The Last Castle" has to be postponed because of the former's violent nature and title and the latter's image of an upside flag on the one-sheet.
For those not-in-the-know, the above image is from J.J. Abrams new as-yet-untitled sci-fi disaster film. Geeks online have tagged it "Cloverfield," "1-18-08," "Collossus" and "Monstrous."
While the kick booty trailer is a combo of "The Blair Witch Project" and "Independence Day," I must admit that the one sheet is a tad much and perhaps irresponsible promotion and marketing.
In these post 9-11 days of terror alerts and bombings everywhere, I don't think we really need to see an image as horrid as this to sell films.
Well... Maybe only if the flick is about apes, stars Charlton Heston and set wwaaaaaay in the future. True sci-fi.
Done ranting.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
GOODBYE TO A BROADCAST LEGEND
No one knows the TV biz like Tom Shales, so if I may, I'll defer to him and his awesome feature obit on Tom Snyder, a true TV broadcast legend.
Tom Snyder Turned Television Into a Tete-a-Tete
By Tom Shales
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Tom Snyder was born to broadcast. He loved television and it loved him back. In that, he was a member of a vanishing breed, especially as narrowcasting displaces broadcasting, "online" replaces "on the air," and any Tom, Dick or Mary can be monarch of a desktop domain, uplinking themselves to satellites in space.
Snyder's death Sunday from leukemia, at the age of 71, was not "the end of an era," as is often said of legendary figures in any field, but another poignant part of a long goodbye, of a transition painful to those who remember the great broadcasters of television with deep affection -- Dave Garroway, Howard Cosell, Jack Paar, and some, like Regis Philbin, who are still alive and working.
All they needed was a TV studio, a relatively small crew and a camera or two with which to reach out across the country into big cities and small towns, tenements and penthouses, and keep a viewer captive, speaking not to "everybody" but to each individual, intimately.
Snyder made his last network talk show, "The Late Late Show" on CBS, partly a celebration of television -- as it is, but also as it was. "The simulcast is up and running," he'd say after his introductory chatter about whatever was on his mind that day, "simulcast" being by then a seldom-used term for a TV show also heard on radio. "So settle back," he would say, "fire up a colortini, and watch the pictures fly through the air." No one was sure what a "colortini" was -- maybe a martini linked somehow to color TV, which was once more of a novelty than high-def is now.
"I'm small," Snyder said in a 1995 interview, as he began the new CBS show, which he hosted for four years. (He had hosted NBC's late-night "Tomorrow" program from 1973 to 1982.) "I'm little television. I'm not big. I'm 19 inches diagonal, and if I can do that, I'm okay." In person he was anything but little. He stood 6 feet 4 and wore, he said, size 13-D shoes (sometimes doing the show in his socks). He was so self-conscious about having big ears that he let his hair grow down over them.
And the picture got bigger, from 19 inches diagonal to today's wall-size 50-, 60-, 70-inchers and more. The size is almost irrelevant; Tom Snyder was big enough to fill the night with talk and his own persona. The Snyder we saw on TV was not a replica of the real guy; it was the real guy. Like David Letterman, whose company produced "Late Late" (as it does the current version with Craig Ferguson), Snyder was perhaps never so comfortable as when under the hot lights and wired for sound.
"Tom really was a true broadcaster," Peter Lassally, Snyder's executive producer, said yesterday. (Lassally continues to produce "Late Late" with Ferguson, another natural talker.) "The word 'broadcaster' is tossed around and used for anybody who works in the business, but Tom did what a true broadcaster can do: He made the camera disappear and talked directly to the viewer, and it was just 'conversation.' There really was no one like him."
"The big man is gone," said CBS News Vice President Steve Friedman, 60, who knew Snyder for 37 years. They became close friends when Friedman was a news writer in Los Angeles and, later, executive producer of NBC's "Today" in New York. "Tom used to say, 'Writers write, producers produce, and stars star,' " Friedman said, "but he only said that to make us feel better -- because he was a better writer than any of us, a better producer than any of us, and the biggest star in our universe."
Snyder's distinctive quirks -- including his loud, staccato "ha-ha-ha" laugh -- were too tempting to be ignored by impressionists, and the definitive faux Snyder was unquestionably Dan Aykroyd, who perfected the impression during the first five years of "Saturday Night Live." It became one of the most popular bits on the show, and it helped popularize Snyder with a young audience that otherwise might have ignored him.
The impression became so well known that there were times, on his own show, when Snyder would do his version of Aykroyd's version of Snyder, making the ha-ha-ha's even broader. He wasn't really such a good sport about the imitation, though. "He was never that fond of it," a friend said.
What Snyder proved at NBC and at CBS was that he could interview virtually anybody -- from mass murderer Charles Manson to Beatle John Lennon to entrepreneur Martha Stewart to Johnny Rotten of the notorious Sex Pistols. One of the most hilarious Snyder encounters ever was an interview with Howard Stern, a hugely entertaining case of culture clash.
Stern to Snyder: "You are a psychopath!"
"People who didn't do other talk shows did Tom's show," Conan O'Brien, boy genius of the new generation of TV talkers, has said of Snyder. "And they said things there that they wouldn't say anywhere else."
During the 1995 interview, Snyder was praised for his session with Stern. His response: He blew his top. He said he was sick of hearing about it and complained that NBC had aired it too many times. He was, it seems, more at home with an argument than a compliment, naturally contrary and argumentative. It was commonly said of Snyder that he could have gone farther in the business if only he hadn't always fought with network management and with any other authority figures around.
When he was still at NBC, and network boss Fred Silverman was displeased with his ratings, Snyder suffered the indignity of having his show torn asunder; a studio audience was brought in, and gossipeuse Rona Barrett made regular appearances. Snyder hated her and hated the new format and, inevitably, clashed again with the bosses in the front office. Silverman had committed the ultimate sin in Snyder's view: He had come between Snyder and his viewers.
Bits and pieces of Snyder in his element, and in his glory, circulated yesterday on the latest medium to threaten television, the Internet. There was Snyder again, grilling guests pugnaciously or roaring that expansive laugh. On a computer monitor, the pictures were small again -- but Tom Snyder was still a giant.
Tom Snyder Turned Television Into a Tete-a-Tete
By Tom Shales
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Tom Snyder was born to broadcast. He loved television and it loved him back. In that, he was a member of a vanishing breed, especially as narrowcasting displaces broadcasting, "online" replaces "on the air," and any Tom, Dick or Mary can be monarch of a desktop domain, uplinking themselves to satellites in space.
Snyder's death Sunday from leukemia, at the age of 71, was not "the end of an era," as is often said of legendary figures in any field, but another poignant part of a long goodbye, of a transition painful to those who remember the great broadcasters of television with deep affection -- Dave Garroway, Howard Cosell, Jack Paar, and some, like Regis Philbin, who are still alive and working.
All they needed was a TV studio, a relatively small crew and a camera or two with which to reach out across the country into big cities and small towns, tenements and penthouses, and keep a viewer captive, speaking not to "everybody" but to each individual, intimately.
Snyder made his last network talk show, "The Late Late Show" on CBS, partly a celebration of television -- as it is, but also as it was. "The simulcast is up and running," he'd say after his introductory chatter about whatever was on his mind that day, "simulcast" being by then a seldom-used term for a TV show also heard on radio. "So settle back," he would say, "fire up a colortini, and watch the pictures fly through the air." No one was sure what a "colortini" was -- maybe a martini linked somehow to color TV, which was once more of a novelty than high-def is now.
"I'm small," Snyder said in a 1995 interview, as he began the new CBS show, which he hosted for four years. (He had hosted NBC's late-night "Tomorrow" program from 1973 to 1982.) "I'm little television. I'm not big. I'm 19 inches diagonal, and if I can do that, I'm okay." In person he was anything but little. He stood 6 feet 4 and wore, he said, size 13-D shoes (sometimes doing the show in his socks). He was so self-conscious about having big ears that he let his hair grow down over them.
And the picture got bigger, from 19 inches diagonal to today's wall-size 50-, 60-, 70-inchers and more. The size is almost irrelevant; Tom Snyder was big enough to fill the night with talk and his own persona. The Snyder we saw on TV was not a replica of the real guy; it was the real guy. Like David Letterman, whose company produced "Late Late" (as it does the current version with Craig Ferguson), Snyder was perhaps never so comfortable as when under the hot lights and wired for sound.
"Tom really was a true broadcaster," Peter Lassally, Snyder's executive producer, said yesterday. (Lassally continues to produce "Late Late" with Ferguson, another natural talker.) "The word 'broadcaster' is tossed around and used for anybody who works in the business, but Tom did what a true broadcaster can do: He made the camera disappear and talked directly to the viewer, and it was just 'conversation.' There really was no one like him."
"The big man is gone," said CBS News Vice President Steve Friedman, 60, who knew Snyder for 37 years. They became close friends when Friedman was a news writer in Los Angeles and, later, executive producer of NBC's "Today" in New York. "Tom used to say, 'Writers write, producers produce, and stars star,' " Friedman said, "but he only said that to make us feel better -- because he was a better writer than any of us, a better producer than any of us, and the biggest star in our universe."
Snyder's distinctive quirks -- including his loud, staccato "ha-ha-ha" laugh -- were too tempting to be ignored by impressionists, and the definitive faux Snyder was unquestionably Dan Aykroyd, who perfected the impression during the first five years of "Saturday Night Live." It became one of the most popular bits on the show, and it helped popularize Snyder with a young audience that otherwise might have ignored him.
The impression became so well known that there were times, on his own show, when Snyder would do his version of Aykroyd's version of Snyder, making the ha-ha-ha's even broader. He wasn't really such a good sport about the imitation, though. "He was never that fond of it," a friend said.
What Snyder proved at NBC and at CBS was that he could interview virtually anybody -- from mass murderer Charles Manson to Beatle John Lennon to entrepreneur Martha Stewart to Johnny Rotten of the notorious Sex Pistols. One of the most hilarious Snyder encounters ever was an interview with Howard Stern, a hugely entertaining case of culture clash.
Stern to Snyder: "You are a psychopath!"
"People who didn't do other talk shows did Tom's show," Conan O'Brien, boy genius of the new generation of TV talkers, has said of Snyder. "And they said things there that they wouldn't say anywhere else."
During the 1995 interview, Snyder was praised for his session with Stern. His response: He blew his top. He said he was sick of hearing about it and complained that NBC had aired it too many times. He was, it seems, more at home with an argument than a compliment, naturally contrary and argumentative. It was commonly said of Snyder that he could have gone farther in the business if only he hadn't always fought with network management and with any other authority figures around.
When he was still at NBC, and network boss Fred Silverman was displeased with his ratings, Snyder suffered the indignity of having his show torn asunder; a studio audience was brought in, and gossipeuse Rona Barrett made regular appearances. Snyder hated her and hated the new format and, inevitably, clashed again with the bosses in the front office. Silverman had committed the ultimate sin in Snyder's view: He had come between Snyder and his viewers.
Bits and pieces of Snyder in his element, and in his glory, circulated yesterday on the latest medium to threaten television, the Internet. There was Snyder again, grilling guests pugnaciously or roaring that expansive laugh. On a computer monitor, the pictures were small again -- but Tom Snyder was still a giant.
AND FINALLY ...
... We give you "The Dark Knight" teaser.
Sort of anti-climatic. Not much goin' on in the teaser but some cool dialogue. The best part I'd have to say is that demented Joker laugh.
Oh, while we're at it, check out this cool recently-leaked Joker shot. Heath Ledger looks pretty evil, especially since the typical Joker "look" of mint green hair and ultra-white skin seems to be really toned down. Love that scar-tissue mouth ...
Sort of anti-climatic. Not much goin' on in the teaser but some cool dialogue. The best part I'd have to say is that demented Joker laugh.
Oh, while we're at it, check out this cool recently-leaked Joker shot. Heath Ledger looks pretty evil, especially since the typical Joker "look" of mint green hair and ultra-white skin seems to be really toned down. Love that scar-tissue mouth ...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
THESE GUYS KNOW CHICKS?
For a second, I actually thought this was an SNL or MAD TV parody.
OK ... So even if they ARE seemingly cool guys and totally in tune with the politics of dating, they look like such utter douche-bags.
Maybe it's me ... I learned all my moves from The Fonz. After watching this vid, I sorta know why some chicks hate guys.
OK ... So even if they ARE seemingly cool guys and totally in tune with the politics of dating, they look like such utter douche-bags.
Maybe it's me ... I learned all my moves from The Fonz. After watching this vid, I sorta know why some chicks hate guys.
CAFFERTY HAS HAD IT
There are some real newscasters left out there.
Check out news vet Jack Cafferty on CNN when the network writers try to get him to update the Lindsay Lohan arrest story.
Bravo, Jack, bravo ...
Check out news vet Jack Cafferty on CNN when the network writers try to get him to update the Lindsay Lohan arrest story.
Bravo, Jack, bravo ...
BEYONCE TAKES A TUMBLE
The future is offically here.
It seems that everything that goes down anywhere is recorded in one way, shape or form. At her recent concert, Beyonce took a tunble down a flight of stairs. Ever the trooper, she got back up and continued performing. A real pro.
The beauty of it all, however, was that it was captured... just like everythng else. Later in the show, the singer asked people not to post it on YouTube. Yeah, right ...
Gosh, it must suck to be a celeb these days.
Anyway, here it is ...
It seems that everything that goes down anywhere is recorded in one way, shape or form. At her recent concert, Beyonce took a tunble down a flight of stairs. Ever the trooper, she got back up and continued performing. A real pro.
The beauty of it all, however, was that it was captured... just like everythng else. Later in the show, the singer asked people not to post it on YouTube. Yeah, right ...
Gosh, it must suck to be a celeb these days.
Anyway, here it is ...
Monday, July 23, 2007
'DARK KNIGHT' TEASER DESCRIPTION
Superhero Hype! has posted what they believe is a legitimate description of the "The Dark Knight" teaser.
It's expected to be attached to "The Simpsons Movie" on Friday at select theaters.
Here's a brief excerpt:
A crystal clear image comes onto the screen. It's of a blacked out man with large windows behind him. The camera slowly zooms in on him. He's talking ... and when he finishes he begins laughing. Betcha know who it is ... A clap of lightning strikes, lighting up his face, and as the laughter grows more manic, cuts to black.
"The Dark Knight" opens July 18, 2008.
For the full description, click here.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
AWFUL MUSIC VIDEOS ...
These are too good not to share.
Please, just make sure you're not drinking anything ...
And check out Spock!!
Please, just make sure you're not drinking anything ...
And check out Spock!!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK LEAKED
Okay, all you Potter maniacs ... Hemingway's Lounge won't spoil anything for you. If you just wanna get to all the hubbub, click HERE to find out what-in-the-bloody-brilliant hell happens...
_____________
All sorts of news agencies are reporting what's purported to be pics of a leaked epilogue to the final Harry Potter book.
In any case, legions of Potter nuts are mining the web, revealing which characters bite the dust.
All this hoopla comes on the heels of JK Rowling's final chapter, "Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows."
Photos online claim to show the entire book - and, if genuine, they give away many closely guarded secrets.
Publishing house Bloomsbury has spent a small fortune trying to protect the book's secrets, after having many problems in the past.
Two years ago, a bulk of copies of "Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince" were sold early in Canada.
More than two million people have already pre-ordered copies from online retailer Amazon, and 'Deathly Hallows' is primed to shatter all previous sales records.
One thing is certain: The only thing that remains clear is that while the internet is awash with spoilers and predictions, fans will have to wait until Saturday to discover the truth.
Monday, July 16, 2007
GETTING HITCHED ON 7-7-7
The notion of whisking a bride to Sin City and deciding to take the plunge on a whim has always been the stuff of pop culture fodder. For pulp's sake, throw in a boozy visit to a local tattoo parlor and you have yourself a bonafide Sin City elopement.
Like thousands of other betrothed couples, me and the future misses figured it would be cool to get hitched on July 7, 2007, the so-called luckiest day of the century. No hassles with wedding planning. No big production. No muss, no fuss. Just eight of our best friends and relatives to help us celebrate. Sounds easy, right?
Think again.
Think again.
From the moment we arrived in town, it was clear that we weren’t the only couple to fancy triple sevens as an anniversary moniker. And if you were in town on July 7, chances are, it certainly wasn't on a whim. Like the thousands of others, we were in Vegas for only one reason - to sanctify our new marriage with Lady Luck.
We arrived in town on July 4 and instantly made our way to the Clark County Marriage Bureau. Smart move considering the line snaked around the block by July 6. What I thought was going to be the most excruciatingly long part of the journey wound up being the plum easiest. And how silly. I mean, we were in Vegas and after all, Vegas knows weddings. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was expecting the DMV.
Standing in line with all the other couples was surreal. We were all there for the same reason, and in a weird way, it felt oddly peaceful. All shapes, sizes, ages and colors, there was a bonafide unity in the room. An unspoken camaraderie. In between polite nods and innocent "where ya froms?" the line quickly moved. A tame 15 minutes and some 60 odd dollars later, we had a genuine marriage license.
By the morning of July 7, I was pumped. Like De La Hoya on fight night, I was in Vegas to seal the deal. A bundle of nervous energy, I wanted to get down to that chapel as soon as possible. Get in. Get Out. Get drunk. Get on with life. Wasn’t that simple.
We stepped outside of our strip hotel, waiting for the limo who was apparently stuck in wedding traffic. Who knew there was such a thing? After the proverbial "we’re-waiting-outside-in-the-heat" phone call, he showed up. I hoped the rest of the day would be smoother, especially after he kept joking about continually losing our wedding flowers.
As the limo drove up the Strip, one thing was instantly apparent: Las Vegas is almost ugly during the day. Barely a few blocks past Wynn and making our way towards Chapel Row, it hit me. I was with the most important people in the world and I'm bringing them into the belly of seedy Las Vegas without the cushion of neon. What was I thinking? Why didn't we get married on a gondola in the air conditioned mall? This wasn't the Vegas I wanted them to see. Sundry shop Vegas. Postcard Vegas from up high... That's the Vegas I needed.
Where efficiency was the standard over at the marriage bureau, utter chaos reigned at The Little White Wedding Chapel. One of Sin City's most renowned sites after marrying the likes of Elvis, Sinatra and Paul Newman, the building is a landmark. As the limo pulled towards the chapel, ridiculously large Hummers, pink Cadillacs and other wedding vehicles created utter havoc on Las Vegas Boulevard. We weren't allowed into the driveway. Parking lot attendants, sweat drenched and frustrated, demanded limousines drop off their passengers on the street, like cargo. So out we went.
Inside, the staff was just as flustered. As reps tried to contend with the bombardment of brides and grooms, it was clear the chapel was overbooked and understaffed.
The next hurdle? There were no signs instructing couples where to check-in to jumpstart the process. And then, about every minute or so, there was the angry voice screaming, "IF YOU’RE NOT A BRIDE OR A GROOM, PLEASE WAIT OUTSIDE!"
The next hurdle? There were no signs instructing couples where to check-in to jumpstart the process. And then, about every minute or so, there was the angry voice screaming, "IF YOU’RE NOT A BRIDE OR A GROOM, PLEASE WAIT OUTSIDE!"
Great. Not only was I a tad nervous about tying the knot, I had to worry whether my 73 year-old diabetic mother would have a heart attack in the Vegas heat wave.
Once we did manage to corner an actual service rep, it didn’t fill me with confidence to see him leaf through a sloppy clipboard to find our names. I kept wondering why there weren't any computers. All I saw were a sea of manila folders. A recipe for disaster. Our 1:30 p.m. reservation for the Crystal Chapel came and went. We were told there was a minister shortage.
Once we did manage to corner an actual service rep, it didn’t fill me with confidence to see him leaf through a sloppy clipboard to find our names. I kept wondering why there weren't any computers. All I saw were a sea of manila folders. A recipe for disaster. Our 1:30 p.m. reservation for the Crystal Chapel came and went. We were told there was a minister shortage.
Enough was enough. We slyly bamboozled our way upstairs to the chapel and the proceedings began after another long wait. But at least we were away from the craziness below. Our charming pony-tailed Hawaiian minister, a cross between a hippie and shaman, assured us we were next. Fifteen minutes later, I was a married man.
Still, the chapel reneged on a few promises. I understand they were busy, but still, you can't promise things and not deliver. They didn't post our ceremony online and couldn't find our flowers (we brought our own). And while The King sereneded us, Elvis was supposed to walk my bride down the aisle. Blame the massive time crunch. To be fair, they did credit my card when we told them it wasn't online.
We did, however, manage to score the ultimate keepsake. Before the ceremony began, an AP photographer told us he'd be snapping some shots. I figured he'd be capturing all sorts couples and thought nothing more of it. Until the next morning.
Imagine our shock when we landed in every daily paper and news site from Macao to Maryland. I felt like a New year's baby.
With our mugs all over the place, I shudder at the very thought of eloping on the sly without telling anyone.
All I can say is that thank God my mom made the trip. If the exhausting chapel experience didn't almost kill us, she just might've.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
THE BATTLE AT KRUGER
If Papa H had a good 'ol betacam, we think he'd capture something like this ... THE BATTLE AT KRUGER
The footage was taken by amateurs on safari and shows a battle between a pride of lions, a herd of buffalo, and two crocodiles at a watering hole in South Africa's Kruger National Park. It's pretty damn neat.
The footage was taken by amateurs on safari and shows a battle between a pride of lions, a herd of buffalo, and two crocodiles at a watering hole in South Africa's Kruger National Park. It's pretty damn neat.
THE JURY DUTY SCAM - WATCH OUT
Well, now this is distressing...
Here's a new scam decent, hard-working people have to worry about - The Jury Duty Scam. What follows below is from the FBI's official web site:
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The phone rings, you pick it up, and the caller identifies himself as an officer of the court. He says you failed to report for jury duty and that a warrant is out for your arrest. You say you never received a notice. To clear it up, the caller says he'll need some information for "verification purposes"-your birth date, social security number, maybe even a credit card number.
This is when you should hang up the phone. It's a scam.
Jury scams have been around for years, but have seen a resurgence in recent months. Communities in more than a dozen states have issued public warnings about cold calls from people claiming to be court officials seeking personal information. As a rule, court officers never ask for confidential information over the phone; they generally correspond with prospective jurors via mail.
More Information
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The scam's bold simplicity may be what makes it so effective. Facing the unexpected threat of arrest, victims are caught off guard and may be quick to part with some information to defuse the situation.
"They get you scared first," says a special agent in the Minneapolis field office who has heard the complaints. "They get people saying, 'Oh my gosh! I'm not a criminal. What's going on?'" That's when the scammer dangles a solution-a fine, payable by credit card, that will clear up the problem.
With enough information, scammers can assume your identity and empty your bank accounts.
"It seems like a very simple scam," the agent adds. The trick is putting people on the defensive, then reeling them back in with the promise of a clean slate. "It's kind of ingenious. It's social engineering."
In recent months, communities in Florida, New York, Minnesota, Illinois, Colorado, Oregon, California, Virginia, Oklahoma, Arizona, and New Hampshire reported scams or posted warnings or press releases on their local websites. In August, the federal court system issued a warning on the scam and urged people to call their local District Court office if they receive suspicious calls. In September, the FBI issued a press release about jury scams and suggested victims also contact their local FBI field office.
In March, USA.gov, the federal government’s information website, posted details about jury scams in their Frequently Asked Questions area. The site reported scores of queries on the subject from website visitors and callers seeking information.
The jury scam is a simple variation of the identity-theft ploys that have proliferated in recent years as personal information and good credit have become thieves' preferred prey, particularly on the Internet. Scammers might tap your information to make a purchase on your credit card, but could just as easily sell your information to the highest bidder on the Internet's black market.
Protecting yourself is the key: Never give out personal information when you receive an unsolicited phone call.
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